Teach your child how to handle money

If you give your child his own money to spend he may gain an excellent education in the use of money and its value. Sometimes parent can help the child to earn money at home. The child can be paid for helping about during the holidays at home or at a friend’s place. Now you may have this doubt.. ‘ if I pay my own child for jobs done at home, will he be likely then to volunteer to help in many other jobs he’s not paid for? Well, don’t make it a habit to pay him every time but only on specific occasions.

As soon as the child gets money to spend, let him spend the money about, as he likes. Offer suggestions now and then if the child accepts them, but never correct him. Assume that the money you have given him is “his”. Don’t include the money given by grandparents or relatives in this. If possible dissuade your relatives to give such monitory gifts; only then will your child learn how to value his money.

Encourage your child to save money. You can induce the child to save the money of one week, and if he saves that without spending tell him that you will slightly raise the amount the next week. This can help him plan and buy something he desires and he also learns that he has given up something now, for something better later.

Please note that the amount you give your child should be increased gradually as he enters high school and his needs increase. Some parents interpret pocket money to be nothing more than money to spend for luxury, regardless of the child’s age. Real pocket money includes regular money for specific necessities as well as for luxuries.

Slowly educate your child to keep itemized account for his expenditure. A few years later, he will know how he used the money and this will help him to handle money in future.

By Ms Hema Sridhar

What is the difference between teaching and educating?

Teaching a child can be said as instructing a child in a certain area. Educating a child is helping him develop mentally, morally, physically and socially. Teaching is just a part of this. You can teach a child how to wash his hands before eating. But you need to educate him and explain to him the reason for washing his hands. It is therefore necessary for the teacher to educate a child before he/she starts teaching the child.

For a young three or four year old child, going to school is an enormous step. The child may never have been away from his mother for such a length of time. He may have had very little contact with children of his own age. But once he starts schooling he needs to become socialised in a new environment. This means that he needs to know

1. the dos and don'ts of getting on with others in the school

2. how to be accepted by others and how to accept them

3 how to gradually become independent while taking part in a group that is much bigger and wider than his immediate family circle.

Now it is the teacher’s responsibility to help the pupils develop all the above and help them learn it. A teacher plays a very important role in setting the base for the years to come. Here are some points that a teacher needs to remember

enjoy the young pupils

be as relaxed as possible

be firm and consistent with them.

FATHERS, LOVINGLY YOURS - YOUR CHILD

Well, most of us commonly see that fathers seem to have this idea that they have fulfilled their responsibility to their kids in having found a good mother for them. Yes, we all are aware that fathers are so encumbered with trying to make a good living for their children. They need to provide them and their mothers a good and comfortable life. By what we leave in material substance will perish by and by. Have you as fathers, found time to live with them?

The day–by-day and year-by- year companionship with your children will live on and on in them. So much so that we can still recall our loving moments with our children and even our grandchildren. Trying going to your own past, and recall the moments with your parents and grandparents. Are you giving such fine moment to your children?

Its best to remember that in everyday guidance of our children, both parents are equally necessary if these children are to develop best and it is very important that they plan together as a team when it comes to their children’s needs.

In this busy life, it’s a known fact that some fathers, unfortunately, because of the nature of their work, cannot spend nearly so much time with their growing children as they would like to spend. It should be noted that it is NOT the amount of time that counts, but the way the time available is spent and the relationship of the father to the children during this precious time.

Try to spend a reasonable amount of leisure time with your children. Include the mother too in this. As you and she enjoy each other’s company, plan maters concerning the needs of the home, the expenditure, etc in bringing up the children. This way you would have laid a healthy foundation for cultivating a cooperative family life.

To be a good father is to be a good husband. You cannot possibly cultivate a good relation with your children without also cultivating a good relation with their mother. See to it that you give their mother due regard for her as a person and observe towards her the niceties of social grace making her feel that what she does for the family is worthwhile.

You and your wife, should talk over your individual ideas about guidance of the children, when the children are not present. If you feel that she is too lenient with the youngsters and you might want her to be stricter. Then relax and be careful not to criticize her in the children’s presence. Talk this out with her.

When your child is a baby, learn to share in his physical care, keeping him for short periods while the mother gets her relaxation. When you come home from your work, you may be tired but remember, so may the mother. All day with one or several young children is a severe strain on the nerves. You can choose this time reading to your child, listening to his experiences of the day, answering his questions, enjoying his creations and inventions, making things with him, or planning a game with his friends on weekends.

Its is quite possible for you to find these experiences with your child a means of relaxation and enjoyment rather than a burden. It all depends on your point of view and the values you place on such relationships.

The father who can play cricket for the boys or toys with the girls sets the stage for vigorous group play in the neighbourhood and also renders invaluable service. It is a great art to be sympathetic, understanding, attentive to what the child tells you at different stages of his life. He will definitely talk about his experiences, joys or sorrows. It might seem too trivial for you to hear this out but it is of great importance to him. Don’t try to make fun of anything he asks or says, but instead treat him with deep regard as a person. And continually make him feel, “My Dad understands.”

When treated this way, the child will naturally ask you about any matter, which deeply concerns him. This is especially important during adolescence and during his youth. He will have the confidence to come to you for information and advice at any time. Try to help your children enjoy achievement within the range of his ability. Find out what he can do well at home, at school or on the play ground. If he is slow at books and better in doing things with his hands, help him out. See to it that he finds ways to be happy with other children of his age. Build on his successes. When he lags at school, don’t dwell on his failures. Help him to cultivate regular habits and for this see to it that you have regular habits as a parent.

Finally the more good times you and your children and your family can have together, the more they will want to follow your ideals. Have fun fathers…spend valuable time with your family !

MsHema Sridhar

QUARRELING BY CHILDREN

Fighting by two children or more is a normal phenomenon. Unless there is serious danger to any child’s life and limb or there is any property destruction, it is best to leave the children alone. If as a parent, you can stand it no longer, separate them for some time without attempting to blame them. And remember, the worst thing you can do when two children are quarreling is to go and try to find out who started it.

At home fighting usually arises with young children over property rights, like whose playthings it is and whose place to sleep. It is better for each child to have his own things. Some play items can be kept common and the children can take turns. As a parent we must see to it that the younger child be trained to respect the older one, and not to appropriate the things of the older child.

Don’t duplicate toys. Let one have a truck and the other a car. Then the two of them may have to exchange or cooperate.

When it comes to some other child visiting your home, the principle of individual ownership is hard to apply. Let your child, on arrival of another child who is likely to be destructive, put away his most precious things. Have on hand a few sturdy toys, which your child can share with his friend. This way both the children can enjoy and there is no fear of the toy breaking. If your child shares his toys, do appreciate him.

Quarrelling on the playground is better if left to the children to settle themselves. If parents go out to defend their child, other children will take offence. Let your child retreat if he cannot defend himself. Train him early never to fight with sticks or stones. Your child may be quarrelsome when he is behind or lags in play skills. The more of correction then must be with the parents. The parents should introduce the child to the play skills where he lags.

Sometimes a child may pick a fight by calling other children ugly names. Such a child may also use these names before the parents and the parents should correct him immediately. There are some parents who themselves set a bad example in this direction.

We, as parents, should build up ideals and habits in child for peaceful play with his friends. And to achieve this, as parents we should practice these good behavior towards other people in his presence. The parent needs to cultivate a happy relationship with all the parents and their children of the neighborhood.

By Hema Sridhar

PRAISE IS BETTER THAN BLAME

Do you as a parent celebrate your child’s successes? It’s a well known fact that all of us gain a lot from our successes than from our failures. The same goes for our children too. Then why is it that a parent finds it easier to blame a child than praise him?

As a parent we assume that if we do not restrain our child then the child is spoilt. But mere restrains are futile.There must be enough outlets of satisfying activity that are approved by us. For every single thing a parent forbids the child, there should be scores of other things we allow and encourage. Otherwise, our children may grow irritable and resistant.

How do we know that our method to discipline the child has been effective?

Even after being punished or rebuked for a forbidden behavior, the child turns happily to some approved activity…then yes, our method to discipline has been

effective. And the more approved things children do with pleasure, the less prone they are to do what is not approved.

Children at the age of six, ten, sixteen are usually discouraged in various experiences at school, among friends, or because of parents. When one wish after another is denied to them, we should as parents, try hard to find hopeful, positive ways of helping him or her to get emotional relief through other outlets which bring the child satisfaction.

So provide your child a lot of hopeful and positive outlets. Imagine how happy your child is going to feel when he discovers that there are a pair of understanding wise and sympathetic parents, who give him encouragement when all the world seems to be hostile.

To achieve cooperation from your children be sure to praise him or her a lot. The mother may compliment her young daughter on her lovely conduct during a party or at her friends house. A father may express delight at breakfast table over the way their son has been getting ready for school promptly, or for helping with the house cleaning chore.

Always remember never to mention the bad behavior of the child, only the good behavior should be picked out for comment. When you hear any nice things about them at school, be sure to mention it to your child. Now surely you may ask this question “won't it make my child conceited when praised so much?” It will…only if we praise them for traits not won by their own efforts..like beautiful face or lovely skin”. Rather, we should pick out praise specific instances of good conduct, in which the child has done with effort what we consider meritorious.

Build your children on their strengths rather than on their weaknesses.

And blessed are those children whose parents, and those who guide them, celebrate their successes.

Ms Hema

IS YOUR CHILD “THE GIFTED CHILD?”

The first obligation of the parents who think their child is gifted is to inquire, “how can I find out if my child is gifted? What are the characteristics of the gifted child?”

The following checklist is a rough indication of what you may want to look out for after your child is born up to 2 years of age -

· Ability to recognize faces early (within a few months after birth).

· Early expressions like smiling.

· Unusual alertness.

· Early interest in looking at books like turning pages of books before 1 year of age and paying attention when read to within 6 months.

· Unusually active and high levels of energy.

· Playing with toys like shape sorters by 11 or 12 months.

· Ability to form two word phrases by 14 months.

· Ability to understand instructions given by you by 18 months.

· Ability to say and understand many words before 18 months.

· Could stay still and watch his or her favourite TV programme.

· Appears to require less sleep (yet not sleepy or irritable due to lack of sleep).

· Recognition of letters/alphabets by age one and a half.

· Recognition and rote counting of numbers 1 – 10 or higher by age 2.

· Recognition of colours by age 2.

· Recognition of first word by age 2.

· Interest in puzzles by age 2.

· Has long attention span in interest areas by age 2.

· Ability to form at least 3-word sentence by age 2.

· Knowledge about calendars and clocks by age 3.

· Demonstration of unusual competency in drawing, painting, singing and other such abilities.

· And most of all, an early interest in reading and a liking for books.

The gifted child’s superiority in language development is very high . he has an early acquisition of skill in reading which is remarkable. Most of such children learn to read before they enter school . Vocabulary development too is extraordinary.

This child has a vivid imagination and this includes having imaginary friends .The child is extremely curious and asks many questions about things and events they have observed,. It is important that parents try to answer their questions patiently and appropriately, or help them find answers. Reading aloud to them is highly desirable, be sure to provide picture book, and provide reading material for the very young gifted child. Later encourage him to use public libraries around your area.

It should be taken into account that a child gets an opportunity to do the above. Gifted children have special need, for intellectual stimulation and challenging experience. Parents should stimulate the gifted child’s development . trips and excursions , followed by discussions , will help. Workshops for such children will be of great value. Guidance should be given so that TV will not consume too much of the child’s leisure time..

The above checklist is at best regarded as a rough guide and bear in mind that not all of the skills and age guide mentioned is absolute. Some children may demonstrate these abilities at a younger age and some may be older and yet classified as advanced learners. However, this can be a good guide to look out for signs of early advanced development in children and provide the necessary platform for them to flourish.

You , as a parent or as a teacher has an inbuilt ability to recognize if your child is gifted. Provide him a favorable environment, affection, physical well being and security ….and see him blossom.

By Ms HemaSridhar

IS YOUR CHILD HYPERACTIVE?

Movement is a necessary part of every child’s growing up. Of course there is a wide range of difference in degree. But for a hyperactive child it is extremely difficult to be within the normal range for movement. This child is active to such an extent that he has difficulty in adjusting to regular family living or behaving which is expected.

A parent expects the young child to be quiet for ten minutes or more, to remain in one place without moving, or to pay attention for a long period. Well…this is not possible for any child. And remember the more the child is told to behave, be quiet or still, the greater the problem may become. Do not expect from young child, behaviour that is impossible for him. Instead of becoming less active, these demands when placed upon him may make him more active.

How do you recognize a hyperactive child?

The child who is hyperactive generally has an abundance of physical energy. And he needs to release this energy.

§ He does not respond well to verbal scolding or ever-verbal praise

§ He is more often a problem in groups of children than when he is alone.

§ Though he likes activities too many activities around him may confuse and distract him

So how do you reduce hyperactive behavior?

The first step is removal of tension. The parent’s goal should be to reduce hyperactivity and not to ELIMINATE it.

§ Do not attempt to reward the child if he keeps still, this method is not realistic. The goal as mentioned above should be merely a lessening of the activity.

§ Give the child activities, which involve movement, which he can do even at home.

§ Activities like cleaning the room, setting the table, picking up toys, drying the washed dishes, picking the clothes when dry can be very effective but ONLY if done without any scolding. See to it that you don’t order the child to do the above activities but request him. And if the child refuses, leave him.

§ Do not wait for the hyperactive child to misbehave. A parent is usually sensitive to the child’s behaviour and need for movement. As soon as the child shows restlessness give him some work which he loves and which involves movements.

§ Praise him for good behaviour instead of being criticized.

§ Don’t say, “I knew you were going to get into trouble”. Don’t merely watch.

§ Be wise and turn the negative situation into one that is positive.

§ When the child gets into trouble being in a group of children, remove him for a short period of time from the presence of other children. This is more so when the child becomes highly excitable.

§ Don’t scold or preach him when trying to reason with him during such occasions.

§ Television has been found to be disturbing for hyperactive children. So avoid any kind of over stimulation.

§ See to it that family activities should not involve frantic behaviour. This causes confusion in a hyperactive child, as too many activities happen at once during such frantic behaviour. Clear direction to do things is very important for the child.

§ Movement must be allowed but in a controlled situation. Because the hyperactive child is a child, there are times when he is going to get into trouble, don’t lose hope as parents. These moments pass.

A hyperactive child is generally warm, outgoing and lovable; he is most willing to help, particularly if it involves physical activity that requires using up of his excess energy.

You should provide a home situation secure with love and with minimum of disturbing factors. In cases of extreme hyperactivity in children, which cannot be handled at home, the child should be taken to a doctor.

DO NOT PANIC ! DO NOT LOSE HOPE ! BE PATIENT WITH THE CHILD!

By Ms Hema Sridhar

Checklist for Helping Your Child With Homework

In continuation of the earlier post on HomeWork, here is a check list to breeze you through....

1. Show That You Think Education and Homework Are Important

___ Do you set a regular time every day for homework?

___ Does your child have the papers, books, pencils and other things needed to do assignments?

___ Does your child have a well-lit, fairly quiet place to study?

___ Do you set a good example by showing your child that the skills he is learning are an important part of the things he will do as an adult?

___ Do you stay in touch with your child’s teacher?

2. Monitor Assignments

___ Do you know what your child’s homework assignments are? How long they should take? How the teacher wants you to be involved in them?

___ Do you see that your child starts and completes assignments?

___ Do you read the teacher’s comments on assignments that are returned?

___ Is TV viewing or video game playing cutting into your child’s homework time?

3. Provide Guidance

___ Do you help your child to get organized? Does your child need a schedule or assignment book? A book bag or backpack and a folder for papers?

___ Do you encourage your child to develop good study habits (for example, scheduling enough time for big assignments; making up practice tests)?

___ Do you talk with your child about homework assignments? Does she understand them?

4. Talk with Teachers to Resolve Problems

___ Do you meet with the teacher early in the year before any problems arise?

___ If a problem comes up, do you meet with the teacher?

___ Do you cooperate with the teacher to work out a plan and a schedule to solve homework problems?

___ Do you follow up with the teacher and with your child to make sure the plan is working?

By Mrs Hamsapriya S

Home Work, Home Work, Home Work !

Homework has become an inevitable part of a child’s curriculum. Though there may be arguments for and against homework, it is there to stay. Sometimes, homework becomes a very big hassle. There are days when the child comes home with at least 2 hours of homework.

Here are a few tips for parents as well as children to not only complete the work but also make it into a meaningful learning experience

Environment : Choose a clutter free and well-lit place for the child. It may either be a study place or even the dining table. Soft music may be played in the background. A plate of light and nutritious snacks may be placed on the table. Let it not be oily and greasy food. Ensure your presence in the vicinity, pencils and colours may be placed on the right hand side preferably in a colourful holder.

Sorting the homework : All work may be categorized into 2 lots - mindless, repetitive work like copying the pages of a book or writing the answers 3 times fall into this category. The second is productive, purposeful work directed towards a goal. Activities directed towards spelling words, math facts, counting money, telling time, vocabulary, and others can be valuable to the academic success of your child.

A parent should identify the most productive learning time of their children. Homework which has learning value attached to it may be completed at that time. Mindless, repetitive work may be delegated to a time, when the child is mentally tired and is not able to do productive work.

Time management : Choose a time, which is convenient for both you and the child. Schedule the work for the child and fix a time limit for every part of the homework. A toy timer would make the whole exercise interesting. Encourage the child to finish his work within the stipulated time and the bonus time he has earned may be used to do any activity to his liking.

Scheduling and Prioritizing : The child should be encouraged to schedule the order of the work, which needs to be completed. All homework that needs to be completed may be placed in the order of priority on the table before the child starts the work. In case the child needs to use the computer, the parent may switch on he computer before he starts to work and also help him out by short listing a few sites which he may need to browse through to complete his work.

Motivating : Motivate the child to do his work by sitting with him. The parent may also do some reading or writing at the same time. Let your child understand that even parents need to do some homework for the smooth functioning of the household. Praise him for his neat and fast work.

WATCH OUT FOR HOMEWORK CHECKLIST IN NEXT POST...

By Ms Hamsapriya S

Preschool Prep: Getting Ready for The Big Transition

If your child is starting preschool this fall, you may be approaching this major milestone with conflicting emotions. You’re probably excited about all the fun (you hope) your child will have and the new friends he’ll make. At the same time, you may feel a little sad that your baby is venturing out into the big world without you.

These emotions are normal. Your child is also bound to have a host of feelings about this transition, feeling proud to be a big kid but at the same time worried about being separated from you and starting something unfamiliar.

Having Fun with Preschool Prep : There’s a lot you can do in the weeks before to get ready for the big day. But try to keep your efforts low-key. If you make too big a deal out of this milestone, your child may end up being more worried than excited. Here are some ideas to keep the focus on fun.

• Use pretend play to explore the idea of preschool. Take turns being the parent, child and teacher. Act out common daily routines, such as saying good-bye to mommy and/or daddy, taking off your coat, singing songs, reading stories, playing outside, and taking naps. Reassure your child that preschool is a good place where he will have fun and learn. Answer his questions patiently. This helps children feel more in control, which reduces their anxiety.
• Read books about preschool. There are many books about going to preschool available from the public library in your area. Choose several to share with your child over the summer before school starts. Talk about the story and how the characters are feeling. Ask how your child is feeling.
• Make a game out of practicing self-help skills like: putting on her backpack, fastening her shoes. For example, you might want to have a "race" with your child to see how quickly she can put on her shoes. When you play school together, you can give your child the chance to practice taking off her shirt, zipping her backpack closed etc. If your child will be bringing lunch, pack it up one day before school starts and have a picnic together. This will give her the chance to practice opening her lunch box and start eating her snacks - important skills for the first day!
• Play at your new preschool. Visit your child’s preschool together. Ask when you can tour the school with your child. Play on the school playground a few times before your child starts the program. These visits increase your child’s comfort with and confidence in this new setting.

Worries and Watching : Your child may also have some questions or concerns about starting preschool, either before or after she starts. Help her get ready with these two key strategies:

• Listen to your child’s worries. Although it’s tempting to quickly reassure your child and move on, it’s important to let your child know that her worries have been heard. No matter what they are, big or small, children’s worries about preschool can significantly influence their experience there. Will you remember to pick her up in the afternoon? Will her teacher be nice?

Let your child know it’s normal to feel happy, sad, excited, scared, or worried. Explain that starting something new can feel scary and that lots of people feel that way. It can be helpful to share a time when you started something new and how you felt. When you allow your child to share her worries, you can help her think through how to deal with them. For example, if she is worried about missing you, the two of you can make a book of family photos to keep in her bag and look at it when she is lonely.

Notice nonverbal messages : As much as 3-year-olds may talk, most are not yet able to fully explain how they are feeling or what they are worried about. Your child may “act out” his worry by clinging, becoming withdrawn, or by being more aggressive. Another common reaction, as children take a big move forward, is to actually move backward in other areas. For example, if your child is fully potty trained, he may start have toileting accidents. He may ask that you feed or dress her even though he can do these things by herself.

It is natural to be frustrated by this regressed behavior, and you may be concerned that if you do these things for her, she won’t go back to doing them herself. In fact, letting her play this out often leads to children returning to their “big kid” selves sooner. Remember that your child is facing—and managing—a big change in his life. She may need more support, nurturing, and patience from you while she makes this transition.

The Preschool Countdown: What to Do and When : The last few weeks before starting preschool seem to fly by! As you begin the countdown to the first day, here are some things to keep in mind:

During the 2 Weeks Before Preschool Starts:

• Purchase a backpack together with your child. If possible, let your child choose it herself. This gives her a sense of control and emphasizes the fact that she is a "big kid" starting preschool.
• Label all items—backpack, shoes, water bottle, etc.—with your child’s name and teacher’s name in permanent ink.
• Figure out how your child will get to school and how she will come home. Talk to your child about the morning and afternoon routine so that she understands that she will be safe, okay, and cared for. Make sure your child meets her before- and/or after-school caregiver, if you are using one.
• Start using your child’s “school bedtime.” Help your child get into a preschool schedule by keeping to his or her school bedtime, beginning about 2 weeks before school starts.

The Night Before Preschool

• Answer any last-minute questions from your child.
• Keep the uniform ready. Make sure that your child goes to bed on time.
• Pick a bedtime that gives your child a good night’s rest before his or her first day. Keep the bedtime routine soothing and relaxing. Don’t focus too much (or at all!) on the first day of school unless she wants to.

The First Day

• Wake up early enough so that you and your child don’t have to rush to get to preschool.
• Make breakfast for your child and, if possible, sit down to eat together—or at least talk with her as she eats and you get ready.
• Review the day’s routine (what preschool will be like, how your child will get to school/come home).
• Pack your child’s backpack together. If your child is bringing lunch, select foods that you know are her favorites. Having some familiarity on her first day is helpful as she adjusts to so many changes.

• Saying a Good Good-Bye : These strategies can ease the jitters of separating on your child’s first day at preschool.

  • Plan to stay a little while. Staying for 15 to 30 minutes on that first morning can help ease the transition. Together, the two of you can explore the classroom, meet some other children, and play with a few toys. Cooperate with the teacher and take her guidance in helping your child adjust to the new environment.
  • Keep your tone positive and upbeat. Children pick up on the reactions of the trusted adults in their lives. So try not to look worried or sad, and don’t linger too long. Say a quick, upbeat good-bye and reassure your child that all will be well.
  • Think about creating a special good-bye routine. For example, you can give your child a kiss on his or her palm to “hold” all day long. Or, the two of you can sing a special song together before you leave. Good-bye routines are comforting to children and help them understand and prepare for what will happen next.
  • Resist the rescue. Try not to run back in the classroom if you hear your child crying, as upsetting as this can be. This is a big change and your child may, quite understandably feel sad and a little scared. But if you run back in, it sends the message that she is only okay if you are there and it is likely to prolong your child’s distress and make it harder for her to adapt.

  Rest assured, teachers have many years of experience with helping families make the shift to preschool. Instead, you can wait outside the classroom for a few minutes to ensure that all is well.

  By HamsapriyaS